Start from Scratch
by SunMonTue
Summary: Kurt is home for the holidays and it's nearly a year since Blaine broke up with him. He and Dave continues crossing paths and Kurt ends up forging a friendship. Written for Kurtofsky Secret Santa.


**Prompt given**: Smut and toys OR fluffy gift-giving OR angst (being alone for the holidays)  
><strong>RatingWarnings**: M – not NC17 (sorry?)  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Kurt is home for the holidays and it's nearly a year since Blaine broke up with him. He and Dave continues crossing paths and Kurt ends up forging a friendship  
><strong>Word Count<strong>: ~7,000 (To the prompter, sorry, this completely got away on me. I don't know if it even fits any of your prompts really, but I hope you like it anyway.)  
><strong>Warning<strong>: Blaine is not so "nice" but hopefully still believable/realistic

**Start from scratch**

He's home for the holidays. Alone. Which is depressing. Coming up to New Year's Eve again. Alone. Reminders seemingly everywhere that it's been almost a year since he and Blaine broke up. He'd rather be back in his dorm room, where at least he could bury himself in school work and deny that the holidays even exist this year. Also, if he were in Philadelphia, his chance of running in to Blaine would decrease to non-existent, and his crazy-insane roommate would make it his job to distract him and cheer him up. To top it all off, he's helping in his dad's garage because one of his workers has called in sick; so he can't even mope around the house. At least he doesn't actually have to _work_ on the cars. The counter bell dings, drawing him out of his pit of self-imposed misery and he pastes on a cheery smile and he only gives a small start when he recognizes the other person.

"Dave. Hi. How's it going?"

"Uh. Hey Kurt…I'm good. How're you? Liking UPenn?"

He finds it surprising that Dave even knows what college he's at, but shrugs it away, because there's dozens of ways he might have found out that information.

"It's okay…slowly settling in. Hard starting from scratch you know? Not knowing anything or anyone."

"Yeah, it's a big place. Uh…the world I mean. Outside of Lima. Um. Yeah. I'm here to pick up my dad's car."

"Oh right, sure. Let me just go check the job book."

He turns away, and it's pretty clear that even Dave Karofsky doesn't want to talk to him. _Depressing_. He finds the entry for a general service for a Paul Karofsky and notes it's already been done and paid for. Just the car waiting to be picked up, the key hanging and waiting. He lets out a sad sigh, because he's probably going to be relegated to hanging out with Finn for two weeks.

"Here you go, all done. Just sign here saying you picked it up," he says, turning back to Dave with the paperwork. When he looks at Dave's face it's drained of color, and he looks like he's about to pass out from nerves.

"Dave? You okay?"

"Uh yeah. Sure. Sorry. Just. Long drive. Uh. Where do I sign?"

Kurt points it out and watches with bemusement as Dave nods a farewell, hand half-raising in a wave and then his legs lengthening into long strides to his dad's car. Odd encounter is _odd._

**KH&DK**

He should have avoided the Lima Bean. But he hadn't been thinking. Well, he had been thinking, it had been along the lines of _caffeine, hot, now_. Of course the fates have conspired against him, because he sees Blaine and Sebastian curled up in a corner, noses almost touching and hot spikes of anger hit his stomach, making it roil. He'd thought he was over it, but seeing Blaine again brings back every hurtful insult and word Blaine said. He'd known exactly what to say to hurt Kurt, played on every single one of his insecurities and fears and he'll never forget the sense of betrayal he felt, at having his whispered confessions thrown back in his face.

At the time he'd been in shock, because it had been so unlike Blaine, at least the Blaine _he_ knew. He'd never had Blaine yell at him, or be spiteful toward him. Seen him do it occasionally to other people of course, but he'd always explained it away as Blaine being overly defensive or sensitive. But he'd just railed at him, telling Kurt he was sick of Kurt's insecurities and whining, sick of not getting sex on a regular basis, sick of the drama of glee club and the Trouble Tones, in fact, he was just sick of Kurt all together. That's when his dad had stepped in and told Blaine it would probably be best if he left.

So he had left. Kurt had kept away for two days before calling him, wanting to see if Blaine would apologize, or offer an explanation. Instead Blaine had sounded surprised to hear from him, which had been alarming, but not as alarming as Blaine's '_I'm so glad we can still be friends_' comment. Kurt hadn't been aware that they'd broken up, but looking back now, eleven months later, he supposes he should have. Why he would have wanted to continue to be with someone who had spat such vitriol at him he'll never know.

Except he _does_ know. He doesn't like this little part of himself, the one that aches to be with someone. To share with them the ups-and-downs of his day. He's been trying since the break-up to reassert himself, be happy with who he is, being himself, by himself. He'd had college stuck in his mind, this distant goal, that everything will be different. Better. That breaking up with Blaine was inevitable anyway, with him leaving Lima and Blaine staying behind. Except college has been hard. Not the work so much, but his feeling of being alone has been exacerbated, throwing into relief just how surrounded by friends and family he was in Lima.

Sure he doesn't get any sideways glances anymore for how he decides to dress or the fact that's he's gay. No one cares. But that's the thing. No one cares about him _at all_. Maybe right now he's being melodramatic, because he _does_ have people that care about him. He _has_ made friends, but seeing Blaine has just reminded him of everything he's been trying to overcome the past year. He knows that being alone is better than being with someone who doesn't love and support him fully though. Knows that he can rely on no one else for his own happiness, and how he shouldn't have to hold back or censor himself or dress differently just to make the person he is with more comfortable. He's going to be himself. One hundred percent. In the words of Brian Kinney, no apologies and no regrets. Except not so much sex. Which he's kind of starting to miss.

He turns to leave before they look up and spot him, because he really can't deal with them now and instead spots Dave, looking as he's trying to hide behind the table by slouching down as much as he can. Except he's taller than Kurt, so is failing on all accounts. He changes his mind about leaving and instead steps over to his table.

"Hey Dave, mind if I join you?"

"Uh…" Kurt watches as his eyes dart around the café, and he's clearly uncomfortable. He holds back a sigh.

"If you'd rather I didn't, then you can just say. I'm a big boy."

"No! I don't mind. I just…I didn't expect you to want join me."

"Oh. Well I do. We didn't really get a chance to catch up the other day…"

"We need to catch up?"

"Yes. Especially if you think we don't. We're friends."

"We are? Since when?"

"Okay. I'll give you that our past hasn't exactly been harmonious, but we're past all that. We got past that ages ago didn't we?"

"Yeah, I suppose." Shrugs.

"Good. So what are you up to? Actually, let me just go order a coffee, and then you can fill me in on exactly what you've been doing since high school…"

Dave seems to look relieved about something, although he has no idea what, so Kurt goes to order his coffee. He's feigning nonchalance pretty well when he sees Blaine look his way he meets the gaze with a tight smile and a raise of the hand. He heads directly back to the table and slides into the chair opposite Dave.

"So, tell me, what have you been doing since high school?"

Dave's gaze slips away to the window, and then he looks back at Kurt from beneath his eyelashes, and he's never really noticed before, but they're dark, thick and Dave looks _shy_. Which he can't help but find slightly endearing, because Dave's always appeared so large and powerful, unafraid of everything. Except for his sexuality of course. He wonders is Dave has come out yet. Told his parents or any of his friends. Whether he's got a boyfriend. That would be depressing, that even Dave Karofsky has a boyfriend and he's still footloose and fancy free…

"I'm studying architecture. Uh…I like drawing stuff."

His head ducks down in embarrassment, as if drawing is something he's not proud of, but he must be good if he's planning on making a career out of it. Kurt can't help but find it slightly amusing, both Dave's embarrassment, but his own surprise at him having this little secret creative side.

"That's good. At least you'll be able to make money off doing something you like."

"Aren't you studying theatre? You like doing that don't you?"

"I do…" Kurt replies slowly, and he kind of wants to know who Dave has been talking to, because whatever he's being told isn't correct. "I'm not studying it though. I'm studying to be a nurse. Well, probably a nurse. That might change. I'm kind of a bit undecided. But nursing is practical. I need a practical job as a backup to my passion. I am doing some theatre and music electives though…"

Dave is goggling at him, eyes wide. Kurt knows most people assumed that he was going to study something creative, but he'd decided to be practical. He can audition for shows, and instead of struggling to find work he'll be a qualified nurse and able to pay bills. He doesn't have to be on stage to find fulfillment. Although he's starting to think that maybe being a nurse isn't going to work either. Dave is still goggling at him and Kurt cocks his head to one side.

"Are you imagining me in a nurses uniform Karofsky?" Kurt says, and he means it teasingly, but Dave's eyes have grown impossibly wider and his expression is horrified, and Kurt realizes that maybe he's spoken a bit too loud considering he doesn't even know if Dave is out or not. God, he has _such_ a big mouth.

"I am _so_ sorry, I didn't mean to say that so loud…"

"Dude, it's fine…just, I _wasn't_ imagining you dressed like that okay?"

Something in the way he says that has Kurt repeating the words and examining them and he slowly starts to grin.

"You _weren't_, but you are _now_?" Kurt asks, and this time he keeps his voice pitched lower, quieter.

"God Kurt, _shut up_ already. Since when did you…talk about stuff like that…?"

Kurt can't help but bite his lip in part shock and part amusement, because Dave has a point. He's still pretty straight laced, but being exposed to some of the goings-on at college has really lowered his sensitivity to certain things and broadened his horizons. Not that he's ever taken part, but he's learnt _a lot_ in the last six months, mainly due to his roommate Ford. Who has sort-of adopted Kurt as his gay wing-man, because that apparently makes him somehow more attractive. There must be some truth in it, because the guy gets laid all the freaking time, and Kurt's pretty sure he now knows more about het-sex than he'll ever need or want to know.

"My roommate's bad influence sorry…he's…_colorful_."

"It's fine. Just…weird to hear you talk like that."

"Yeah. I know. First time Finn heard me use the f-word he sprayed dad with the soda he was drinking. Gave my dad more than one reason to be annoyed at me."

"Uh…right."

Kurt realizes he's monopolizing the conversation, so mentally tries to shift gears.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. How about we talk about our plans for Christmas."

"Uh. I'm Jewish. So…yeah."

"Way to be a conversation killer Dave. How about you tell me about your plans for Hanukkah."

"Hanukkah finished on the sixteenth. Um. So my plans are to bum around and spend time with my family until I go back to college. I'll go to temple on Christmas Eve just to keep my dad happy, but apart from that…nothing. Working on some assignments."

He shrugs again and Kurt thinks that's the most Dave has ever said to him. He's studying the leftover foam in his cup and he still doesn't look comfortable. Kurt feels disappointed, and he's not sure why exactly. Dave was right, it's not like they're friends, but he's going to try and change that. Like a Christmas resolution.

"Oh. Okay then. So no plans to catch up with friends?"

"Uh, not really. Don't have many friends since I transferred. I've kind of let them all drift away. I have friends at college though. I'm, uh, out at college."

The last is said so quietly he almost doesn't hear it but he feels a surge of pride, and happiness and…_joy_ at the words. He knows he's probably grinning like a sideshow clown, but he doesn't care.

"Baby steps huh?"

Dave smiles shyly, nods and looks out the window and his cheeks have gone pink. Kurt kind of wants to give him a hug, but knows Dave would probably be horrified if he did that here, in public.

"I'm building up a support network so I can come out to my dad…"

"Do you think he'd…disapprove?"

Dave shrugs again, looks at Kurt briefly and then looks out the window again.

"Well, I hope you count me among your support network."

Dave's eyes snap to him so quickly, looking astonished, which Kurt finds slightly insulting. Surely he's not that much of an ass that Dave would think he'd turn him away if he needed help.

"I…no. I didn't. But okay… I will."

It doesn't sound overly convincing, so Kurt holds his hand out, fingers beckoning and Dave stares at his hand like it's dismembered and crawling around separated from his body.

"Your phone Dave, give me your phone."

"Oh…right."

He fishes it out of his pocket and slides it across the table. Kurt takes it and adds himself as a contact, and then gives his phone one ring so he can get Dave's number.

"There. Now you know how to contact me. So no excuses if you need help or just want to talk okay?"

"Um. Sure. Okay."

Dave looks startled, but also pleased, and Kurt sits back feeling satisfied.

**KH&DK**

Two days later he's watching Finn act half his age as he tears into paper, over excited and already somehow hyped up on sugar. He's sipping his first cup of coffee for the day, sending out mass texts to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. His dad and Carol are being sickeningly sweet, making excuses to get up and kiss under the mistletoe every other minute. He's fairly certain they've been enjoying the empty house now that he and Finn are both at college, because they're more handsy than normal. And _there's _a thought he doesn't want to go any further, parents bumping uglies. _Shudder_.

He jumps when his phone vibrates, and he ignores it for all of a minute before checking, despite the disapproving frown from his dad. _Dave K_. He stares at the half-truncated message and flicks into it, needing to read the message in full.

_Thanks for the other day. Came out to my dad last night. Apparently he knew ages ago. We were up all night talking. Merry Christmas Kurt._

"Everything okay Kurt?" his dad asks, and he must have been staring at the message for a while, because even Finn has stopped to watch him and Kurt nods hurriedly.

"Yeah, everything's fine…Sorry. Just one of my…uh, friends just came out."

"He alright? Do you want to go and call him?"

Kurt blinks. Blinks again. It's clear from Dave's message that he's perfectly okay, which is a relief, and his dad has no idea that he'd be ringing his former bully, and that's all his dad would have in his mind. Not _former_. Not _new friend_. Not even simply _David Karofsky._ Dave would just be the kid that scared his son enough to force him to transfer schools. Yeah, that wouldn't go down so well. He'll need to start laying some groundwork there.

"No, it's fine. I'll just text him back right now and call him later. Sounds like it went okay, I just wasn't expecting him to do it anytime soon is all. Sorry to interrupt."

He sends back a quick '_That's fantastic. I hope you're doing okay. Talk to you later.'_ He watches as Carol and his dad open their gifts at a far more leisurely and sedate pace than Finn, and he picks open his own gifts carefully. Finn is bouncing around, peering at the gifts as they're opened and asking questions, apparently just as excited about everyone else's gifts as he was about his own. There's no surprises in the gifts he receives. His dad has learnt to go from the list, which Kurt feels slightly mercenary for having, but if it mains no more rainbow plaid pants with a knitted three-inch hem, he'll deal with it. Finn has bought him another game for his computer, two in fact, and Kurt appreciates the gesture, trying to get them to have more joint areas-of-interest, but he's not a fan of computer games.

"It's Sims Hospital and Sims Broadway!" Finn exclaims, and Kurt has to grin at his enthusiasm, and maybe it will actually give him something to do before he goes back to college, he did used to play Sims years ago, and a Broadway version does sound interesting. He listens as Finn extols the virtues of both games and agrees to install it on his laptop immediately so Finn can watch. Kurt's starting to suspect that he's simply been an excuse so Finn could just play these games.

He's chased out of the kitchen by Carole when he offers to help, and ends up organizing a coffee date with Mercedes, who is only in town for two days before her family leave for a week-long vacation. Some of his other friends from school are coming, and times like this he really wishes Lima were bigger and he doesn't have to go back to the Lima Bean. Although thinking of the Lima Bean has him thinking of Dave again, rather than Blaine. He pulls out his phone and re-reads the message, and he feels ridiculously proud, even though Dave coming out has nothing to do with him. He closes the door to his room and calls Dave's number.

"Uh, Kurt?" Dave greets, and he sounds surprised.

"Hi. Is now not a good time to call? I can call back later."

"No, it's fine. I just…didn't expect you to call."

"I did say we'd talk later," Kurt states, and he tries to stop the frown forming, because he's getting lines there already, and he's only nineteen.

"Yeah. It's just, people say stuff like that all the time. Doesn't mean they mean it."

"Well, I always mean what I say."

The silence on the other end seems slightly longer than needed before Dave speaks again.

"Right. Okay."

"So, want to do coffee again? I want to hear all about it."

Dave reluctantly agrees and Kurt wonders what he's said to suddenly make Dave so standoffish. He puts it in the too-hard basket for now, but knows he'll think about it later.

**KH&DK**

Mercedes, Tina, Artie and Rachel have all left, and it was nice just catching up with them without everyone else there. Rachel is loving New York of course, and Kurt can't help but feel a pang of jealousy when she'd raved about it non-stop for ten minutes before Mercedes had told her to shut-up. Kurt had shot her a thankful look. He knows he's made the right choice, however difficult it was. New York is too expensive and out of stupid misguided he'd only applied to NYADA. Rachel didn't get in either, which was only a small consolation at the time.

He'd had the mad scramble to actually evaluate his life. His future. He'd talked to his dad a lot, about the pros and cons of studying music. Theatre. Fashion. Performing Arts. He knows he could do any of them, and do them well. His dad would have supported him fully. But he'd just decided he wanted to have something, a sure win career, with flexible hours that he could also travel with. He's pretty sure he's made the right choice, but some days he wonders _what if_.

"What are you thinking about? Looks intense," Dave states, sliding into the chair opposite him which Mercedes had only vacated thirty minutes prior.

"Life. Choices. Decisions…"

"Intense."

"Mmm," Kurt agrees, but he knows Dave's clearly been doing some own heavy thinking of his own. "So, how have you been? How was your dad?"

"Good. I mean…it was easier than I thought it would be. He just…said he was waiting for me to tell him."

"So what did make you finally decide to come out to your dad? I mean, I only saw you a few days ago and you weren't ready then," Kurt asks, breaking a piece off his neglected cookie Mercedes had insisted on buying him and popping it into his mouth. Dave seems to follow the action with his eyes and Kurt can't help but find it slightly gratifying.

"Uh, well…I decided on my New Year's resolution. I don't want to lie anymore, which sounds unoriginal, but I just…it was such a relief you know? Telling him? Not having to pretend anymore and just let it all out…"

Kurt nods, he knows exactly what he means.

"So, that's your New Year's resolution? To come out?"

"Um. Partly. It's more…being honest about certain things. There's a few things which I've been, uh, hiding from people, so I thought I'd come clean. And started with my dad."

"Well. I think it's great. More than great. Fantastic even."

Dave returns his smile shyly, head bowed and Kurt can't help but like this shy talkative Dave. The one who draws, and smiles and seems to be maturing right in front of his eyes. It's a bit like watching a rare flower slowly blossom. He knows he isn't all grown up, by any stretch of the imagination, and the more time he spends away from home the more he realizes how much he still has to learn about life. But accepting his sexuality? He's got that down, and seeing Dave finally take some major steps forward…he kind of wishes he could see Dave at college, where he's out completely and not darting nervous glances around as if he's embarrassed to be seen with him.

**KH&DK**

He ends up meeting with Dave four days in a row, getting coffee and talking. Dave starts to relax, his eyes meeting Kurt's, he cracks jokes, most of which go over his head until Dave rolls his eyes and explains them. He talks about his college friends, asks Kurt about his and listens intently when he talks. Dave complains about his younger brother and sister. He complains about Finn's obsession with Sims, how his roommate has sent him a photo of breasts on his phone, which his dad had seen to his complete and utter mortification.

"Better than a picture of a cock," Dave says, and he's grinning as he takes a sip of his drink.

"Ergh. He did that already when he was drunk in the first week. He said he figured that if I had photographic evidence I wouldn't need to take a peek and he could just relax about me seeing anything and walk around naked whenever he wants."

Kurt rolls his eyes but Dave is laughing loudly, spluttering around his drink.

"Does he? Walk around naked?"

"No. Thankfully. At least not when I'm there. And _ew_, I don't want to think about the other stuff he gets up to when I'm not there…"

Dave laughs again and Kurt pulls a face, because he knows all too well what goes on because he's walked in on it far too often for his liking. He points this out to Dave and it just makes him laugh harder. He's enjoying Dave's company, and he felt weird when he first realized it, but now, five days in, he can't imagine it being any different.

"So, what are you plans for tomorrow night?" Kurt asks. He's been invited to a party in Columbus with Finn's college buddies, which he won't be going to. And the remaining glee club members with the misfortune to still be in Lima on New Years' Eve are all going to Artie's to hang out. He's pretty sure he could bring Dave as a friend but… Dave won't want to come. He's not about to socialize with his friends just because they're friends now. The realization makes him feel a bit down, because the more he's getting to know Dave the more time he wants to spend with him before they go back to college. Plus he's a definite improvement on Finn and being forced to play Sims all day.

"Ugh. I have to babysit my brother and sister so my dad and step-mom can go out to some party. Why?"

"Oh…I was just going to see if you wanted to hang out…"

"Uh. You could always come round. If you wanted to I mean. We could watch a movie or something. Matt and Sammy will be in bed by nine at the latest."

"Yeah, that would be good. Dad and Carole are having a party at our place so I don't exactly want to stick around. I thought you said you had a sister…"

"Sammy. Samantha. Scariest seven year old you will ever meet man."

Kurt laughs but stops when Dave looks completely serious, but then snickers again, because the idea of Dave being scared of a little seven-year-old girl is hilarious. He's glad Dave has invited him though, because it means more time with him before he leaves for college.

**KH&DK**

Kurt knocks on the front door of Dave's house. He's early, and they've skipped their coffee meet-up this morning because they'd be seeing each other tonight, and Kurt feels ridiculously eager to see Dave. And meet his younger brother and sister, who he's heard so much about. The door's opened by Paul Karofsky, clearly dressed ready to go out and Kurt smiles in greeting, Dave standing behind his father, looking slightly anxious.

"Hi Mr Karofsky…"

"Oh…hello Kurt. Dave didn't mention that it was you that was coming over…"

"_Dad_." Dave's voice is tight. Embarrassed.

Kurt bites his lip, realizing that by being early he's probably just put his proverbial foot in his mouth. Dave came out a week ago and has invited another gay guy around on New Year's Eve. Dave is rolling his eyes and Kurt bites back a grin. Dave's dad steps to the side to let him in

"Yeah. My dad and Carole are throwing a party, so rather than hanging out at home Dave invited me here…"

Paul Karofsky nods and calls out for someone called Karen, who he assumes must be Dave's step-mom.

"Right, well, you boys have fun. David, you know the rules…"

"_Dad_…just _leave_ already…"

Paul looks like he's going to say something further but he just looks between the two of them and calls out again for his wife. A friendly looking woman who reminds Kurt of the Mrs Weasley in the Harry Potter films comes out, letting Paul help her put on a jacket. She smiles warmly at Kurt before turning to Dave.

"Right, I've given them a talking to. Any acting up and just shut them in their rooms. They're allowed to have pizza for dinner and _one_ bowl of ice cream. They can watch _one _movie, and if they can't decide on one between them they don't get to watch one at all. I've told them bed at eight, but don't worry if they play up until nine. Right. You've got our numbers. Thanks for doing this Davey…"

"No problem Karen. It's fine."

Kurt thinks it's kind of cute that Dave gets called Davey by his step-mom. He knows that she's been around since Dave was in grade school, was in fact one of his teachers, when his mom walked out on his dad. They've talked about that, not realizing before that they'd both lost their moms around the same time, just for different reasons. Dave turns to him as he shuts the door, shaking his head.

"Come on, I'll show you where everything is and introduce you to Matt and Sam."

Kurt follows him through to what is a family den, large bean bags scattered on the floor and two kids are curled up, one playing a handheld game of some kind and the other reading a book.

"Guys, this is my friend Kurt, Kurt this is my brother Matt and my sister Sam. I'll be in the kitchen preparing dinner okay guys?"

There's a non-committal grunt of response and Kurt blinks, he can't even tell where it came from. He's not had a lot to do with kids, but what he has seen has always given them the impression that they talk a lot. And neither of them seem to warrant the scariness level that Dave had been talking about yesterday.

"Are they okay? They're kind of quiet…"

"They talk all the freaking time usually. Sam's near the end of her book, so she probably didn't even notice you there. Actually she probably didn't even hear me say anything. And I think Matt's heading into puberty like several years too early, but whatever."

Kurt follows him through to the kitchen and watches as Dave pulls out pre-made pizza bases and other things from the refrigerator. It looks like a well-practiced pattern and Kurt wonders how often Dave has done this.

"Can I help at all?" he asks.

"Uh, yeah. Okay. I was just going to get you to do your own pizza. It's pretty easy, just add what you want. Saves the hassle of having them fight it out."

"They fight a lot huh?" Kurt asks, starting to slice some tomatoes and recalling Karen's comment about them choosing one movie to watch.

"Man, do they ever. I always wished for a sibling when I was younger you know, but I think it would have just been years of fighting and I'd probably hate them. Having younger siblings works for me. Most of the time."

"They seem pretty well behaved though."

"You say that _now_. It's because they're doing things they're obsessed with. As soon as Sam finishes her book she'll be taking Matt's game away from him. Or if Matt gets bored with his game he'll go and steal Sam's book…apparently they're learning social skills or some shit," Dave mutters, and he's slicing up a pepper after setting aside some grated carrot. Weirdest pizza topping ever. He glances at the kitchen bench, there's spinach, carrot, pine nuts, three different types of cheese, basil leaves, tomato, cashews, olives, peppers, capers, mushrooms. No meat of any kind.

"I…how did I not know you were a vegetarian?"

Dave shrugs.

"We're all vegetarian. That's okay right? You can go without meat for one night?"

Kurt nods, ignoring the mini-devil-Ford persona in his head which is saying '_meat, aww yeah'._ Dave calls his brother and sister into the kitchen (finally having to go and get them physically), instructing them that they have to have at least five vegetable toppings. He's good with them, and he notices Sam try and kick Matt and Dave just step in between them with a sigh.

"Could you guys just try and behave for one night? I really don't want to have to shut you in your rooms."

Dave gets glares from both of them for his trouble and Kurt has to bite back a snort of laughter at it all. He meets Dave's eyes over their heads and grins before staring up at ceiling just to avoid bursting into laughter. Once the kids have made their pizzas and they're in the oven Dave invites Kurt to make his own, while covering his own with spinach, nuts, tomatoes and feta. Kurt follows his lead, adding some grated carrot for sheer curiosities sake. He completes his masterpiece with a sprinkling of cheese and looks up to find Dave watching him.

"What?"

"Uh. Nothing. No, well, it's not nothing, but…I kind of have a confession to make, that whole New Year's resolution crap," Dave says, and he's staring at the far wall. Kurt hides a small smile, lowering his head just in case Dave looks in his direction again. He's pretty sure he knows what it is; Dave's not exactly been subtle with the way he watches Kurt when they're together. However he's not looking for a boyfriend, well, _he is,_ but not one so far away.

"You can tell me…"

"Yeah…I don't think I can. I just don't know if I can say it out loud…It's stupid."

"Well, how about you write it on a piece of paper and then give it to me at midnight. Why don't we both do it…"

Dave looks as if he's about to protest but shrugs again before reaching for a pad of paper beside the phone along with two pens. He tears off a piece and hands it to Kurt. He studies it for a second, unsure what to write. He doesn't want to lead Dave on, but he also want to be honest. He does like Dave, enjoys his company and a couple of times wondered what it would feel like to have Dave's hands on him, to have his hands on Dave. He's found himself watching him more and more, particularly since he arrived tonight. When he looks over Dave has already written whatever it is he needs to write and is tucking the piece of paper in his jeans pocket, so he quickly scribbles; '_I like you. I just can't do anything about it_.'

**KH&DK**

Dinner over, plates cleared away and Dave has installed his brother and sister back in their respective beanbags with bowls of ice-cream to watch a movie. He didn't even give them a chance to argue, simply picking one and putting it on. After seeing Dave have to split them up from two screaming matches he feels a bit on edge, but Dave has just calmly dealt with it. The piece of paper in his breast pocket feels like it's burning through his shirt and he's pretty sure he's paying extra attention to Dave because of it, whereas Dave seems to have relaxed completely.

The movie comes to an end and Kurt realizes he hasn't paid attention to any of it. _Not good_. It's not even nine, and he's meant to be spending at least another three hours in Dave's company and he can barely pay attention to anything except Dave, the piece of paper in his pocket and wanting to know what Dave has written on his own piece of paper. He's fairly confident it will say something along the line of what his says, but he doesn't _know_, and the more he thinks about it he's not sure if he's hoping it _does _say something like what he's written, or the complete opposite. He kind of wants to change it, but he's pretty sure there's no way of doing that without being really obvious.

"I'm just going to go put her to bed…pick another movie for us to watch, I'll be right back."

He watches as Dave scoops his sleeping younger sister up into his arms and disappears upstairs, and Kurt glances down at Matt who looks back at him. He feels like he's being assessed, and found wanting if the snort and roll of eyes is anything to go by. He picks up the bowls and takes them into the kitchen, rinsing them and leaving them beside the sink. He stares at the pen and paper, trying to figure out what else he could write but continues to come up blank. Or other things which are no more appropriate.

"Hey, you okay?" Dave asks, heading sticking around the door and Kurt jumps but nods briskly.

"Just rinsing the ice-cream dishes. Didn't choose a movie. I figured we could decide on one together…" he knows he's rambling. Feels that he's rambling, and embarrassed because of it, cheeks flushing warm. Dave shrugs good-naturedly and Kurt follows him back to the den. Matt's no longer there, obviously been sent to bed. Dave flicks through the list and Kurt suggests Pirates of the Caribbean, figures there's enough action there to keep Dave happy and he's seen it before so if he ends up paying no attention again at least he can bluff his way through it.

Dave sits at the other end of the sofa, cricking his neck and making himself comfortable in a sea of cushions. Kurt curls his legs beneath him, not sure if he's imagining the tension, but without the kids in the room it feels… more intimate somehow. Almost like a date. The movie starts playing and Kurt forces himself to watch it instead of Dave's face, flickering in the half-light of the screen. Kurt's pretty sure the movie wasn't this long the first time he watched it, and when the credits starts he looks at his watch it's only ten past eleven.

"You want a coffee? You don't have to stay though, if you want to go home…"

"You forget my home is filled with middle-aged people seeing the New Year in. I'm not going home until at least one…even then I'll probably look completely lame."

"Fair enough," Dave says, laughing, and Kurt really likes the sound, and Dave looks _good_ when he's happy. He's starting to wonder if asking for a New Year's kiss would be completely immoral. _Yes_ he decides; it would completely count as getting Dave's hopes up or leading him on. He follows Dave into the kitchen, blinking at the bright light when it flicks on. Dave moves towards a real coffee machine and Kurt wonders why Dave goes to the Lima Bean if he has _that_ at his disposal. As he watches Dave grind the beans and heat up the milk he starts to understand.

"It's fine if you're making more than one cup. Doing all this for one cup is too much effort and my dad refuses to have instant in the house," Dave explains, rolling his eyes and Kurt realizes he must have spoken aloud. A few minutes later Dave is sliding a cup of coffee across to him and Kurt inhales the fragrant bitter scent. He looks up and Dave is watching him, and he looks anxious, as if he's stealing himself for something.

"I can't wait till midnight. Here, take it," Dave says, pulling the piece of paper out of his pocket and sliding it across to him. Kurt's stomach lurches. He leaves Dave's paper where it is and slides over his own piece of paper. He's nervous, but not as nervous as Dave looks, and he's sure Dave is shaking slightly. He unfolds and smoothes out Dave's piece of paper, and reads _'I go to UPenn as well'_.

Well.

He hadn't expected that.

He looks up to find Dave staring at the piece of paper in his hand and he sucks his lips into his mouth, heart racing and nervous for a completely different reason. Dave is at UPenn. With him. Why Dave hasn't told him before that he's at UPenn he has no idea. But _he's at UPenn._ Unexpected bubbles of effervescent joy feel like that are bursting in his stomach and he grins. Almost _giggles_.

"Do you really? It's not a joke or something?" Dave asks, and his expression of almost hurt-disbelief galvanizes him into speech.

"No! I wouldn't joke about something like that…I…" _I really really like you. _"Why didn't you tell me before that you go to UPenn? I mean, I'm sure that there's been plenty of opportunities."

"Yeah, I mean, sure. I just started off…like. I've seen you around campus and avoided you, because I figured that's what you'd want. And then when we met up again back here and you were so friendly I figured that maybe I shouldn't have avoided you, but I didn't know how to tell you…and the longer I didn't tell you the worse it became."

It's kind of sweet in a weird way, Dave avoiding him, thinking that's what he'd want, when actually there were times Kurt would have loved to have seen a familiar face. He can tell Dave's nervous, he's not looking at him again, like the first day in the coffee shop. He slides his coffee away so that it doesn't accidentally get knocked over.

"Do you want to know why I wrote down that I can't do anything about it…"

"Why?" Dave asks, and his voice is choked, eyes wide when he looks up as Kurt advances on him. He doesn't move away though. Kurt pushes his coffee away as well and leans forward, leaving mere inches between their bodies and he could swear Dave's breath is coming faster.

"I'm not prepared to do long distance. That's why I couldn't, or rather, wouldn't, do anything…but seeing as you go to UPenn…well, it's a completely different story."

"Uh. Really? Kurt? Wh- what are you doing?"

Kurt has stepped even closer, their thighs touching.

"I'm going to kiss you…"

"Uh. Why? I mean…don't you want a date first or something?"

"Dave, we've had coffee together every day for the last five days and just sat through two movies together. I'd say we were more than overdue for a kiss or two…"

With that said Kurt moves his mouth to cover Dave's. He moves slowly, not wanting to rush it or scare Dave away, although he's hopeful Dave is anything but scared right now. He can feel hands softly resting on his hips and the gentle pressure of Dave kissing him back. He lets his body rest against Dave's, links his hands behind his head, plays with the fine hairs, not pushing for tongue or groping, just this slow gentle first kiss. He doesn't count the one from before. That was a scared and terrified boy screaming silently for help, not the shy and quiet young-man who has learnt self-acceptance. He pulls back slightly and meets Dave's eyes.

"You okay?"

Dave simply nods and Kurt smiles, feeling a sense of rightness well up inside him. He moves forward for another kiss and this time Dave meets him halfway. _Better_. They're both hesitant to start with, but Kurt keeps up the slow press of his body against Dave's, lips sliding against lips and twines fingers into dark curly hair. Dave's hands twitch firmer on his hips and Kurt pushes his hips forward in approval. Encouragement. Dave's moan vibrates against his mouth and Kurt smiles, and the result is his tongue slipping out, flickering against Dave's lips, which part readily.

Tongues add several new sensations to the experience. He can taste Dave, he tastes like ice-cream and coffee, feel the smoothness of his teeth, the warm hot press of tongue against his own lips. It's a bit sloppy and lacks finesse, but it's eager and enthusiastic, and he doesn't want perfect, he wants _this._

"Wait wait wait…" Dave says, slowly pulling back reluctantly, looking flushed and aroused and _happy_. And a bit confused. "Are we…dating?"

"Right now? No. We're making out. Next year? We are _definitely_ dating."

He grins and Dave grins back.

**KH&DK**

**THE BEGINNING**


End file.
